POSTER DE BLONDE
Personalised funny 2027 calendar poster — rename all twelve months
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2027100% honest
The Crap Calendar
Property of Dave. Hands off.
January
Resolutions: dead
February
Valentine’s? Nope
March
Easter already?!
April
No bank holiday. Rude.
May
Bank holiday, bank rain
June
Wedding season (again)
July
Out of office (mentally)
August
Everyone’s away
September
Back to school (nooo)
October
Heating on? Not yet.
November
Grey. Just grey.
December
Office party regrets
Surely it can’t be worse than 2026.
The preview is what gets printed. The days are 2027’s, weeks start on Monday; the month names are up to you.
The 2027 calendar with all twelve months renamed as they deserve: ten funny ideas per month, written for 2027, or your own words. A real grid of days, three circled dates, six bold styles. 250 g matte paper, from A4 to 70 × 100 cm, or a printable file.
First the object — medium, size, frame — then its content, which you watch take shape in the preview.
Ready to give: printed in our Estaing workshop and shipped within 48 h, with an optional frame on A4 and 30 × 40.
For a last-minute gift: the print file, €8.90, arrives by link the same day — PDF and PNG at 300 dpi, all five sizes.
See the five sizes to scale
Step 4 of 4: Create my calendar 12 months · title · dates · style
Your personalisation
Check the spelling: the poster is printed exactly as is, to order.
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Printed in AveyronComposed and printed in our family workshop in Aveyron, checked before it ships.
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Printed to order250 g matte paper, pigment inks: printed in our Aveyron workshop, whatever the size.
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Shipped within 48 hTo your door or to a pickup point, by La Poste or Colissimo.
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Ready to giveStandard frame sizes, easy to find.
Secure payment
Full description
The 2027 calendar with every month renamed the way it deserves: “Resolutions: dead” in January, “No bank holiday. Rude.” in April — Easter falls in March this time, really — and “Office party regrets” in December. Ten ideas to pick from for each month, or your own words, up to twenty-four characters.
It’s a real calendar too: every month has its grid of days, weeks starting on Monday, weekends marked, and you circle three dates — a birthday, a holiday, the big day. Six bold styles, from neon on black to riso on cream paper, and a title and subtitle of your own. The preview follows every keystroke, and it’s exactly what gets printed.
- 250 g matte paper, pigment inks, printed to order.
- Five sizes: A4, 30 × 40, 40 × 60, 50 × 70 and 70 × 100 cm.
- Optional wooden frame on A4 and 30 × 40, black, white or natural.
- Or the printable file: all five sizes, each as a PDF and a 300 dpi PNG, by download link.
The poster, once printed
Scenes and people generated by AI.
Sizes
A4 · 21 × 29.7 cm
The keepsake: a birth, the sky of one date. Everyone owns an A4 frame, and it ships flat, in a stiff card envelope.
30 × 40 cm Our favourite
The entry size, the most common frame size: IKEA, HEMA, Action.
40 × 60 cm
Bedroom and hallway décor, in 2:3 like a photograph. 40 × 60 frames at homeware or framing shops.
50 × 70 cm
The flagship living-room size, sold across the market. Shipped rolled, in a sturdy long cardboard box, home delivery only.
70 × 100 cm
The large wall size. 70 × 100 frames at IKEA (RÖDALM). Home delivery only.
| Size | Printed poster, no frame | With frame |
|---|---|---|
| A4 · 21 × 29.7 cm | €19.90 | €38.90 |
| 30 × 40 cm | €29.90 | €58.90 |
| 40 × 60 cm | €44.90 | Not offered |
| 50 × 70 cm | €49.90 | Not offered |
| 70 × 100 cm | €69.90 | Not offered |
| Print-at-home file: all five sizes, as a PDF and as a 300 dpi PNG | €8.90 | |
Prefer to print it yourself? All five sizes, each as a PDF and as a 300 dpi PNG — ten files, by a download link sent after payment.
How it works
- You rename the twelve months
Ten ideas per month, written for 2027, a shuffle button, or your own words. Then the title, the subtitle and three dates to circle.
- You pick a style
Six bold styles, from neon on black to riso on cream paper. The preview follows every keystroke: it is what gets printed.
- We print in Aveyron
To order, on 250 g matte paper: in our Aveyron workshop, whatever the size, and every poster is checked there before it ships. Or you receive the download link for the file by e-mail.
Specifications
| Formats | A4, 30 × 40, 40 × 60, 50 × 70 and 70 × 100 cm |
|---|---|
| Paper | Matte, 250 g/m² |
| Inks | Pigment-based, lightfast |
| Optional frame | On A4 and 30 × 40: wood, black · white · natural, with acrylic glass |
| File only | All five sizes as PDF and 300 dpi PNG, by download link |
| Brand | Dandymaps® |
| Personalisation | Title · Subtitle · All twelve months · Circled dates · Short line · Style |
| Occasions | Christmas · Original gift idea · Secret Santa · Office gift exchange · Birthday · New Year |
| Gift for | A colleague who moans · A friend who had a rubbish year · A teenager · A brother or sister |
| EAN code | 3701800802098 |
More gift ideas: Christmas
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Worth a read: The crap calendar: the Secret Santa present the whole office reads out loud (2027 edition)
Frequently asked questions
Is a 2027 calendar with funny month names a good Christmas or Secret Santa present?
It is made for that: a 2027 calendar where every month gets a funny new name, with a real grid of days, to give to a colleague who moans, a friend who had a rubbish year, a teenager or a brother or sister. It suits Christmas, Secret Santa (Kris Kindle), an office gift exchange or a birthday. Each month comes with ten ideas, or you can write your own words.
What’s on the poster?
The full 2027 calendar: all twelve months with their grid of days, weeks starting on Monday and weekends marked. Above each grid, the name you gave that month in big letters; at the top your title and subtitle, and a line at the bottom if you want one.
Do I have to come up with twelve jokes?
No. Every month comes with ten ideas written for 2027 — Easter falls on 28 March, the very night the clocks go forward, and there’s no bank holiday in April. Pick one, shuffle them all with one button, or type your own, up to twenty-four characters. A month left blank keeps its real name.
Does it have to say “crap”?
Not at all: the title, the subtitle and the twelve names are free text. “The Crap Calendar” is just the example on the page. For the office or for your nan, “Dave’s Year” works just as well, and most of the ideas are cheeky rather than rude.
What are the circled dates for?
They turn a joke into a proper present: their birthday, their holiday, their last day at work. Up to three dates in 2027, circled in felt-tip, in the style’s colour.
When should I order for Christmas?
We ship from France across the EU, Ireland included (not to the UK): order before 15 December for delivery in time — 48 hours in the workshop, then the post. The printable file arrives as a download link with no parcel at all: that’s the last-minute option.
What customers say
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5 out of 5
Super, ça va plaire à ma copine pour noel...
C. ·
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5 out of 5
trop cool ça fait rire tout le monde
M. ·